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 HE
CATHOLIC CHURCH has always recognized that
reconciliation is central to the mission entrusted to her by
Jesus. Indeed, Christ's mission is to reconcile man to God.
Through the cross Jesus did for us what we were unable to
do, he paid the price for our sin. While we can experience
God in a variety of ways, grace and mercy come to us only
through the cross of Christ.
 This
act of reconciliation is worked out each day of our lives as
we turn back to our loving Father. Jesus specifically
entrusts his Church with the mission of reconciliation. In
the Gospel of John, Jesus says, as the
Father sent me, so I am sending you.... Receive the Holy
Spirit. If you forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven; if
you retain anyone's sins, they are retained.[1]
This aspect of the Church's mission can sometimes be
troublesome. I know I had a difficult time coming to
understand why the Catholic Church would claim this
authority. However, in time I came to grasp two simple
things. First, we are made in the image of God and commanded
to share in his mission. Also, it is the life of God himself
in me who forgives. My concerns evaporated. Now I marvel at
how God looks after me. Instead of some nebulous experience,
I can hear his mercy face to face in a very practical
manner. God moves through his Church.
God
also moves through me, since I am a part of his Church and
share in its mission to the world. Not only do I constantly
need mercy from God, but at the same time I must constantly
give his mercy to others, that they might be reconciled to
Jesus. Sometimes I receive mercy on wrongdoing towards me;
sometimes it will mean receiving mercy from others for my
own sin against them. Each is a different side of the same
coin, the coin of mercy.
The
practice of reconciliation is a process of gradual and
continuous growth. As I come before the Father with my sin,
I come more deeply into the experience his total love and
goodness, which repulses me from deliberate rejection of
that love and brings me to hate the sin that caused the
breach. When I am sinned against by another, the memory of
our Father's love makes me eager to reconcile. However,
there are times when things seem to go otherwise. Frankly,
sometimes the anger or hurt seems intense and I can be
pretty resistant to any idea of reconciliation, at least for
a time. When this happens, the Holy Spirit prompts me to
recall how Jesus taught us to pray:
Forgive us our trespasses as we
forgive those who trespass against us. In other
words, I will be reconciled to God in the same way as I
choose to reconcile (or not) with others. If I harden my
heart against another I also harden my heart against God and
render myself unable to receive his mercy. The teaching of
the Church is very clear on this:
"Now
- and this is daunting - this outpouring of mercy cannot
penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those
who have trespassed against us. Love, like the body of
Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see
if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. In
refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are
closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the
Father's merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our
hearts are opened to his grace."[2]
It
is helpful to remember that reconciliation is a decision,
not a feeling. I can feel angry or hurt and still choose to
forgive the person who caused the hurt. Sometimes the
feelings will persist even after the reconciliation. That
does not nullify my decision to forgive.[3]
I can still choose to reconcile and then deal with the
feelings later.
I
am constantly struck by the crucial importance that our Lord
places on reconciliation. I have heard of deathbed
experiences where the Lord would not take the person home
until a particular reconciliation had taken place. Recently
I had the opportunity to experience a bit of this
firsthand.
One
of my grandmother's sayings has been a standing joke in my
family. She would always say, "If I die,..." That
changed about a year and a half ago when she was diagnosed
as having cancer. She died just before last Christmas. Her
death, which was somewhat prolonged, brought to the surface
some family disagreements. I experienced Jesus moving very
powerfully in this situation. He used me to diffuse a very
serious conflict among some close family members. But what
really struck me was how my family came to peace during
Grandmother's death and stopped quarrelling. It seemed that
her stay in hospital would go on forever until that
reconciliation happened. Once it did happen, her death
progressed rapidly. I had the privilege to be praying by her
bedside on her last night and I was struck by the serenity
in that hospital room.
Reconciliation
is not an optional extra. It is our way of life.
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